(Prints size 125x108 cm, 77x66 cm)
Welcome to the house! At the end of the story it will burn and vanish,so let us learn it as much as we can. We lay its foundation according to genetic blueprints long before birth using the first bricks of our own experience. Over time, it grows and becomes more complex, passing through certain stages of construction planned by the architect. The transition to each new cycle is accompanied by certain crises. We may overcome it, or we may fail. When everything goes according to plan, we successfully complete the section or floor and move on to the next one. When for some reason the tasks of the previous stage are not completed in time, we carry their baggage with us through all subsequent ones. Its contents will not wait for us to finish. It will manifest itself through fears, conflicts and unpleasant situations, complicating the movement through a new cycle. Heavy suitcases will finally stop construction entirely. Life will become unbearably painful and is often lived under the anesthesia of addiction or terminated prematurely.
The first stage of our construction was laying the foundation - the formation of trust in ourselves and the world. The architect gives us no more than 12 months to complete it. We already know that during this period the reticular system of the brain and the basis for perception are formed. This is the stage of codependency, a state of unity with the goal of survival. At this stage, it is important to be born painlessly and in comfortable conditions, to form a healthy addiction with parents, to receive enough care and affection from both of them and to quickly satisfy our needs. The emotional persistence of father and mother teaches us to trust them, and therefore trust ourselves and the world around us, so that in the next stage we can easily explore it. However, we are approaching the first deadline with results entirely beyond our control.
We continue to work on the foundation. The second stage of the plan was counterdependency, lasting during the second and third years of our life. Necessity in independent exploration of the world urged us to separate ourselves from mother and father. The successful completion of this cycle brought us to a second, psychological birth. In result we got self-confidence, allowing us to become autonomous, separate and true "I".
If parents do not allow us to act independently and do not let go, due to the unsatisfactory state of their own construction, we gain shame for our clumsiness and self-doubt. In combination with the baggage of unfinished tasks of the previous stage, this burden deprives us of independence. Physically we are born, but personality is not. Psychological birth pains to obtain our separate "Self" will continue in the background in subsequent stages. The house will demand a foundation and the role of parents in the play of separation will be performed by partners, spouses, children, friends, colleagues and occasional passers-by.
If parents do not allow us to act independently and do not let go, due to the unsatisfactory state of their own construction, we gain shame for our clumsiness and self-doubt. In combination with the baggage of unfinished tasks of the previous stage, this burden deprives us of independence. Physically we are born, but personality is not. Psychological birth pains to obtain our separate "Self" will continue in the background in subsequent stages. The house will demand a foundation and the role of parents in the play of separation will be performed by partners, spouses, children, friends, colleagues and occasional passers-by.
The next floor, by the age of 18, will be a stable image of the Self and a direction in life, followed by a stage of gaining real intimacy. In an ideal world populated by wise and conscious people, we will effortlessly answer the question "Who am I"?. Later, we will build a relationship in which we can take care of our partner, regardless of his/her actions and emotional state. We will openly share the most intimate feelings and thoughts. Firm walls of our own house, which we defined earlier, will allow us to safely open our inner world to others, and look into their own without fear of losing ourselves. Our children will receive unconditional love and build their own lives the way it should be. Then perhaps, when the time is right, we will have the courage to start the fire. We will be convinced by our own experience of the illusory nature of the walls in order to take the last step on the path of self-realization. Unfortunately, we live in a different world. No more than 1% of the world's population managed to complete the foundation. A typical construction scenario is an identity crisis and a feeling of worthlessness and purposelessness of existence, followed by a feeling of isolation and alienation in relationships with other people. The coronavirus has created nothing new for us, it has brought us face to face with who we really are. No matter how adult we look, there is a two-year-old child, hiding behind our intentions and actions, desperately trying to satisfy its needs. Do you recognize our terrible "Ego" here? Do you still want to kill or discard it? Or continue to ignore?